The following is from the New York Times column The Ethicist. Please respond in the comment box as to how you would advise the reader. Make sure you justify your response with evidence from your experience or the collective human experience. Remember to post your response by Friday September 18th at 5pm.
Chatter Bus
By RANDY COHEN
On the noisy $10 Chinatown bus from New York to Boston, the girl behind me spent the entire four hours on her cellphone, telling the same inane story to five different people. I wanted to ask her to stop, but I didn't know if I should, considering the price of the ride and that I don't mind noise in general, just her nasal, repetitive noise. What should I have done?
Justine Van Der Leun, New York
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I'd probably ask the girl nicely to be considerate of others and be quite even tho I only paid ten dollars for the trip, but I hate people who talk through a whole ride and if she does talk jus to talk quitely.
ReplyDeleteMIKE.P
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ReplyDeletePersonally, depending on how annoyed you are. You should probably ask her nicely to be quiet and keep her conversations to a minimum. Or may even be nice and simply keep to your self because she did pay the same amount as you did. Or be even more ignorant and call one of friends and talk ten times louder.
ReplyDeleteAlthough Ive never been I a situation where I was annoyed by a stranger. I can kind of put myself in his place. Due to the simple fact that I know I can be irritating at times everyone has their limits and knows when enough is enough. Also people have told me plenty of times that I should be quiet or keep my conversation to a minimum and think about others around me. It all depends on how nicely you chose to be no matter how annoyed you may be.
-Marquelle Camp
It is best that you had not said anything to the girl, because you can not control the actions of others. Although you could of kindly asked the girl to bequiet or lower her voice, due to current circumstances that would have been unneccesary. The girl was not doing anything to cause physical harm to you, so it is best that you just ignored her, and focused on something different.
ReplyDelete-Lorina Kegler
I think it depends on how you feel at the time. The best way to approach the situation is to not say anything at all. Honestly, it has nothing to do with you and its a public bus, and people are free to do what they want, therefore it shouldn't concern you. Personally, I don't want to hear your conversation and it should be kept private and not broadcasted to everyone. Who am I to tell you how to hold a conversation on your phone? I don't feel it would be my place.
ReplyDeleteI'm easily annoyed, so I would probably move my seat. But, I wouldn't say anything to the person because I know that if someone approached me , i'd have a negative attitude towards them because I'm minding my own business and I'm not trying to bother anyone intentionally.
-Morgan Sands-Jones
I dont think it would be appropriate to say anything to the woman on the phone. Just like you did she paid $10 to ride the train and has the right to be on her phone. Even thouth it is nice to keep your voice to a minimum as not to annoy other people she is not obligated to.
ReplyDeleteAlso, she keeps telling the same story to these five people so it must be important to her and you never know what is going on in people's lives. Like the writer said the train is already noisy, so if you moved to a different part of the train im sure you wouldn't hear the woman anymore, solving the problem.
-Sean Thomas
My Dear Seniors,
ReplyDeleteMake sure that your comments include advice for the reader, rather than just your opinion. While valid, your opinion is not the assignment! Remember that you are also judged on capitalization, grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
-Ms. K
Personally, my advice would be to not say anything at all. It’s not your place to tell her anything seeing that everyone has freedom of speech. If you have a problem with her telling her story then that’s your own personal problem, maybe you should move or put some ear phones in your ear so you won’t have to hear her story any longer. If you don’t have any then maybe you should consider in investing in an ipod or mp3 player.
ReplyDeleteListening to her tell her story wouldn’t bother me because I honestly don’t care what people choose to do or say to others, that’s their business not mines. If I were to become annoyed then I wouldn’t say anything because that would just create conflict and I would possibly move to another seat. So it’s best that you don’t say anything at all.
- Tara Harris.
You and the woman are equal. All of you on the bus, at this moment share the same common goal of arriving at a destination. Who are you to take away from her freedom of expression? She can talk on the phone for however long she wants to. To my knowledge, there are no rules that prohibit the use of cellular phones or how long someone can talk on them, in most public transportation.
ReplyDeleteDistract yourself from the situation. Read a newspaper or listen to some music.You are not helping yourself if the woman with the nasal,repetitive voice is all you're thinking about. You should be more focused on yourself, instead of others. Like my classmates have already said, the woman paid the same $10 just as you did to do ride the bus. She should not be limited to quieting down simply because it would make the ride more comfortable for you.
-Saba Davis
Honestly, I don't think that it would be appropriate to say anything to her because it is a public bus. It is not your place to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't be doing. You both paid the $10 to ride the bus and you can easily move your seat if you are annoyed. If you are riding on a noisy bus that means that there are others around that are loud also, so wherever you choose to move you have the possibility of getting annoyed.
ReplyDeleteThe story that the girl is telling must be pretty important if she has told thne story five different times. She could be going through a crisis and need someone to talk to and if you tell her to quiet down it could cause a whole different problem. So, I think that you should just leave her alone and if it is such a big problem then move your seat.
-Adia Brady
I think that the only way to avoid anything from escalating into something big becuase she is annoying you is to jus sit quiet and try to ignore it. But if its bothering you that bad I would just ask very nicely for her to be quiet or move my seat.
ReplyDeleteBut listening to the same story over and over again would annoy me and I have a short temper so I probably would have asked the young lady to be quiet becuase the train is making enuff noise already and her annoying voice and the same old story would make me go crazy.
Now the bus ride is about 4 to 7 hours long. The girl has been talking for 4 hours already. Now you telling the girl that she is disturbing you, will probably cause a scene or argument. The argument could get you two kicked off or even worst. You dont know what this lady has been through, she probably needs to vent. Maybe you should be lucky she's not venting to you. You should just stay focused on yourself only. I would never look back just stay focused on moving forward. You contemplating on what to do will not let time fly by. If you concetrate on a book, magazine,or even a ipod. Music is shown to calm a person nerves and relax them. I come from a family of 3 sister and 2 brother, so it is very choatic. I've learned to focus on myself, ignore all the rest noise.You should just put on your ear phones and listen to some soothing music and looking forward not behind.
ReplyDeleteDa'Neane Bell
I feel that Justine should stay silent in this situation. Hearing the woman's story over and over again may get on your nerves but saying anything to saying anything to her may cause you more trouble and drama. You may feel that it is necessary to quiet the lady, but a stranger will not take criticism well.
ReplyDeleteI remember a time when someone I did not know tried to correct my behavior and I became defensive. This is because I felt that they did not know my situation or problem and therefore could not have a proper opinion or say in my business. The same applies to this story. Saying something may just cause problems for both parties.
-Candace Lee
I suggest since it is a public train and you did say you mind noise, I would just move to another seat on the train instead of fitting there and getting annoyed. I would also suggest if you didn't want to move and if you had an iPod or mp3 player you can listen to that.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say to tell her to be quiet because since it is a public train and it is noisy, she
really doesn't have a reason to not talk.
The best thing for her to do is to see if they have anymore available seats because approaching the women could possibly stir up an argument and ruin her trip. Considering that it is a public bus she is obligated the right to speak as much as she want without someome telling her otherwise. My advise would be, if she can't change seats to find something to occupy to the ride and the noise. She should try reading a book or listening to music, something to distract her mind and direct her focus else where.
ReplyDeleteOne day I was on a public bus trying to get home from a hard day at practice. The bus was full and there was one seat located in front of two ladies that were loud that continously gossiped about people throughout the whole ride. I realize that it was a public bus and I could'nt stop them from talking just because I was tired and annoyed by them. I could'nt figure out how I was going to make it through the ride with these two "loud mouths" behind me. My resolution was to take my made else where and thats what I did. I payed attention what was going on outside and just observed every scenary I could and gradually their mouths did'nt seem to bother me anymore. We all go through things like this in life and the best thing to do when we approach it is, to block it or them out of your mind and find something that captures your focus.
In my opinion this is a very difficult situation to handle. On one side it is her legal right to talk to who ever she wants, and in any manner she may choose. On the other hand she should have been much more considerate of her surroundings out of courtesy. The best thing I could suggest to do in that situation would be to find another available seat, or to stand up in a different section of the bus. Apprehending the women could possibly commence an unnecessary confrontation. Asking a women who is obviously naturally loud and obnoxious to be quit would most likely start a bigger commotion then the initial issue.
ReplyDeleteThe way that I would personally deal with a situations such as that is to constantly carry my ipod with me. If Randy would of had an Ipod or some sort of mp3 player at hand, he could have not only blocked out her nervous chatter, but the entire surrounding noise of the busy bus. He wouldnt have to deal with being annoyed by the blaring sound of the occupied bus
-Joseph Fiddmont
Under the circumstances that she is riding on a public bus and that, I assume, every passenger paid the exact same price, I would advice the reader to not say anything to the talkative person behind her. Unless an individual is personally effecting someone with their ruthless or inappropriate behavior, they should not be bothered. Plus, I am sure the bus had general rules(ie appropriate clothing) that did not include continually talking on one's cellphone. If the reader feels like she can not ignore her, perhaps she should find a different seat away from the noisy passenger. However, if a seat is not avaliable she should listen to some music, if she has it, or simply go to sleep.
ReplyDeleteI have been in situations when it was both appropriate to tell noisy passengers to be quiet and when it was not. For my public bus expierence I gave myself the same advice that I gave the reader, and did not say anything. However, when my Dad was driving me home from school with my older sister in the car, she was talking on her cellphone for almost the entire ride. Well, until I told her to get off of the phone. This situation allowed me to say something because it was a private vehicle and required more consideration than that of a public bus.
-Sundae Holmes
My advice for the girl would have been to not say anything to the girl. It is public transportation and there are some people in the world that are just rude and who don't care about being courteous to other people. Even though she payed 10 dollars, all the other people on the bus did the same. Therefore it wouldn't have been a smart thing for the girl to do anything but either move seats or do something to entertain herself so that she didn't have to pay attention to the girl.
ReplyDeleteI haven't had this happen to me but if I was to be in the same situation as the girl I wouldn't have said anything. I know how public transportation can be that is why most of the time I bring my ipod. That alleviates all the noisy people that are on the bus with me.
-Re'Nada Smith
Personally, i think that the woman is entitled to her right of speaking on the phone and telling a story however many times that she pleases. Even though it may be annoying, then woman is not committing a crime against any rules or regulations. In addition to that, she also paid just as much as the man paid to get on the train. My advice to the man would be to simply ignore the annoying woman or move to another seat.
ReplyDeleteOnce i was riding a bus, and a man sitting across from me smelt quite unpleasing. It was just a horrible stench. I couldn't tell the man to freshen up or not to sit by me, so i simply moved my seat. He was entitled to be on the bus just as much as i was. Moving my seat ultimately solved the problem of smelling his dreadful aroma.
-Jaja Bakari
I would advise the reader to just simply move his seat. Of course, the
ReplyDeletenoise from the woman is not his fault, so he shouldn't be the one to
move, but as the quote says, "We cannot make people behave the way we
want them to, but we can change the way we react". Confronting the girl
would be simply unnecessary. Each passenger paid the same price to ride
the bus. Therefore each passenger has the right to do what they please.
If someone's life was in danger, that is of course, another story. If
this happens again, either move your seat or just stick it out.
I have never been annoyed by anyone on a bus. I am usually tolernat of
people's behaviors. There is one time, when a homeless woman came onto
a bus that i was riding to downtown. She smelled really bad, but of
course, she couldn't change that, she was homeless. I didn't dare ask
her to mov her seat, I was really polite to her when she asked me
questions. I just stuck it out, and lo and behold, she moved to the
back of the bus where it was "cooler".
Monique Mitchell
To be honest although everyone paid the same $10 it would only be fair if the lady kept her conversations to a minimum. No matter how much it may bother the lady if you were to say something I believe that it’s the only appropriate thing to do at that given time. But due to the simple fact that you may be annoyed of hearing some one blab on and on as loud as the possible can about some that has nothing to do with your life in any shape or form. You should just speak your mind in the kindest way possible and if the lady has a problem with it call as many of your friends that you can think of and go on and on about how the girl behind you is talking loud.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the woman on the cell phone has a right to talk on the phone on the bus. If the woman talking on the cell phone was a huge situation, then the Mr. Cohen could have easily asked to kindly switch seats with some one. The bus is public transportation so they have to right to speak on the phone. I have rode the bus many times, and it is very noisy. I can not be upset at a woman on the bus with her crying baby, or the arguing couple in the back of the bus. They have the right to do all those things even though it does not show class and manners. They paid the same price for the ride I did. You must take into consideration when you use public transportation, the people on the bus are not going to act the way you may want them to.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds of the time two friends and I rode the bus to their house. We were talking and laughing on the bus, and an elderly woman become angry with us for having fun on the bus and being teenagers. She said loudly "This bus is too noisy. People just need to shut up." The woman did not have the right to tell the people on the bus to shut up for the simple fact that she was very rude and the bus is for everyone and used to serve everyones accomidations. The woman could have said nicely, may we please lower our volume, but when you take the negative approach you get a negative result.
-Ayrica Sawyer
I personally believe that she had every right to talk on her cell phone. Since the bus was most likely noisy, the woman talking on the phone would not have bothered me. The story must have been important if she repeated it to five different people. If she bothered me that much with her conversations then I would have simply moved up a row or two. Then I would not be able to hear her conversations. My advice to him is to ignore her or try to occupy himself by reading a book, listening to music, or talking on his own cellular device.
ReplyDeleteI would tell Randy to ignore the girl talking on the bus and focus on something that would not have him focused on her.Although he might have erge th tell her to be quiet,she might not respond positively.
ReplyDelete...Personally I would have walked off the bus because my patience are not as strong to deal with the ignorance of the outside world.I experienced that same situation once before but i didnt let it impact me.I ignored it and dealt with it in a matur manner.
Carlissa Kyte
Though I too would be peeved by the woman on the bus’ obnoxious behavior, in this situation it might be best to just grin and bear it. After all, if your wish is to no longer hear her “nasal” and “repetitive” voice, the best way to accomplish that probably isn’t to confront her. My guess is that if she isn’t well mannered enough to observe bus decorum then she most likely won’t back out of the situation gracefully when you address it. Then not only would you have to suffer her irritating voice, it would be directed at you.
ReplyDelete-Taylor Johnson
The way I've personally dealt with similar situations is to simply move away or distract myself with a book or music. In this manner I am removing the source of irritation while avoiding conflict.
ReplyDelete- Taylor Johnson